Boss Gives Silent Treatment & How To Fix It!

Welcome to the team buffalo podcast. Join Travis as he takes you on the journey of leadership to rebuild company cultures and face the reality of building and scaling large company now tune into the biggest ever no theories, no gimmicks, just the reality of what it takes to lead a company, a team at a successful career finding solutions to become the greatest and now it's time to make shift happen with Travis Thomas.

Ahoy legend. Welcome back to another episode of CEO reviews, Reddit workplace questions. We've got a couple of interesting ones. But before we get started, if you haven't done so already, please click Subscribe so we can keep you engaged. And you'll get notified as soon as new content is produced every week. We do upload new videos at least once a week, if not more often. And I want to continue to bring you kick ass content. Now let's get stuck into the first one for today. How do you keep going in long hour jobs? Hmm, interesting. And this is by any quality street left, usernames. firstworldproblems. I know. But I'm preparing to leave my cushy work from home nine to five but no future current job for a new role, which is faster paced, longer hours and a commute again. Interesting. So they're saying, I've got a nice work from home, it's nine to five. But I don't have a future here. And I'm gonna trade that off for fast paced, long hours and commuting again. Okay, yep, I'm actually really nervous about my energy levels, and how I'm going to cope with an extra four hours a day. Plus, I'm a bad sleeper. So I'm often knackered by 6pm. But I'm trying to be positive and proactive. So wanting to ask, what are your techniques and advice for keeping up with it and not getting burned out? I know a thing or two about burnout. I also know a thing or two about stupidly long hours, I will not get into the length of hours I work because you might judge me for that. And and that's a topic for another thing. And I promise we'll get into that at some point. But what I am going to say here that I think is really important is that I found consistently time and time again, there are a few things that determine whether or not a leader or an employee or any human and a workplace will work long hours and whether or not the long hours make a difference as factors at work all night. If it meant nothing got done. Do you actually like what you do? Now, I don't say love every aspect of it. Because there are almost no jobs. I've never met anyone who even loves and runs their own company that loves every moment of their job, it's not possible. There's just always going to be things you don't like about what do you love? For the most part, your job? Do you at least like for the most part most of your job? If the answer is no, I'm worried about you. Because the reality is you are going to struggle. If I keep my body moving, and my mind occupied at all times, I will avoid falling into a bottomless pit of despair, you will pay a higher price for each and every minute and hour you put into a job. So first is if you don't like it, do not pass go, do not collect $200, stop there, look for something else, or don't work so many hours. But I'd say look for something else. The second is even if you love or like what you do need to find ways to manage the energy burn that comes with it. So I myself have worked crazy long days with crazy long hours. But I know there are a few things I have to be really bullish on because if I don't, I will not be able to keep up that level of work effectiveness and work those hours. Let's just go home. Yeah, let's go. No, no, remember, just because you work 14, 16 whatever hour days doesn't mean you're doing high value work or even productive work. So you need to make sure that you've got your energy reboost there's and there are ways to boost back up those energy levels. So this person saying it's an extra four hours a day, and I'm a bad sleeper, you need to sort the sleep out. That's the first thing is like if you're not recharging at night, like working out, eating healthy, all that other stuff is great. But everyone knows talk to any good clinician, they'll say to you sleep is critical to recharge your brain resets clears out all the nonsense does all the healing. If you are not sleeping properly, you will struggle. I'm fine. It's just that life is pointless and nothing matters. And I'm always tired. Also, I can't sleep. I'm over eating. None of my old hobbies interest me. I've seen it. I've worked with entrepreneurs who burn themselves out and they're like, I just can't get control. And you look at what they're doing. you're sleep deprived. You're not going to get there short periods, fine. We can tolerate it. But if that becomes your new rhythm and you're never recharging, you are going to burn the hell out and I've actually been involved with people who I've coached and seen who have ended up in the hospital from high levels of fatigue and exhaustion. Everything hurts and I'm dying. Do not let that happen to you. So sort out the damn sleep, get that under control. Next is to find ways to balance your workload. So to make sure that you're clear on time blocking, we talked about time blocking in our community, the Team Buffalo community all around some techniques for time blocking, how do I make sure that I'm working in chunks of really productive activities, and then allowing time for in between to do low cognitive effort activities that can boost you back up, that's really important because you can't run full till you're not Elon Musk, in most cases, where your brain just most people need the peaks and troughs of like really high value work for a short period of time, lower cognitive effort, high value, lower cognitive effort, need to build those into the cycle. And then the third is to find things that you can put in between as a social connection. So if you're at work these long hours, you have to find ways to connect with the people around you. If you're not doing that, it can be really isolating, and it doesn't matter if you like what you do, and you're sleeping well and you're exercising and eating well and keeping all your energy levels up. If you feel detached from people around you and you're not making time to interact, you will pay a price on that side and it won't work oh lord it's a b*itch of a one. Definitely make sure you're allowing time for that too. So I'd say all of those can add up to some pretty effective ways to take back control through energizing recharging on weekends or having a day to switch off making sure you're sleeping effectively and that you really like what you'll do I guarantee you you will be able to match whatever requirement is put in place for your talent. Now let's go on to the second one for today. Awesome advice someone boss is giving me the silent treatment, the silent treatment in a workplace. Okay, this is new for me. I like it Hi everyone, I'm at a loss with this situation so hopefully I can get some advice here you shark in my office has only three people we do project management with international clients and contractors. So a lot of the job can be done remotely due to the rising COVID-19 Where I'm at my boss Jack not real name told me to work from home to be assessed on a weekly basis weekly basis. This means that only him and my other coworker Peter, not real name are working from the office. So there's three people here two are working together in the office but this person has been sent to work remotely only Okay no, sorry. It's an inside joke. I wish I was I love inside jokes. Love to be a part of on Sunday. I'm a new graduate engineer so my job is self studying and picking up work from them to assist with the project. Ever since I started working from home this year, I've been given zero tasks from Jack despite me asking for them what your work there and the boss is giving you no work. I'm ready to go in coach just give me a chance. I know there's a lot riding on it. But it's all psychological. Just got to stay in a positive frame of mind. I've only been given tasks and guidance from Peter. Working from home is good, but Jack gives me zero updates only Peter responds. Okay, that's interesting. So it's just the peer that's giving the workout not the leader. Jack is usually very talkative and messages me a lot. So this behavior is kind of weird. I messaged back on Saturday on the work from home office status for this week. I know it's the weekend. But Jack does it to me. And the previous week. He messaged me on the weekend as well. Yeah, cool precedent there. He's left me on read. And I found out from Peter that he was replying to Peter, but not me. Know, Jack was also working on a witness statement before my visa application. So I've messaged him on that as well. Yeah, good luck. So there's some reasons to reach out there. And there's clearly a pattern of some weekend work, I had to resort to sending an email for him to finally inform him on the work from home office status. But all my messages are left unread, which is taking a toll on my mental health, because I'm going crazy over the possible situations. I'm gonna miss the farmers market. last message I sent him was me confronting him about my messages not being responded to. Prior to that was a message of how the silent treatments taking a toll on my anxiety, oh, anxiety has kept me up for over 50 hours. That was about my diagnosed mental health because he said it's so he can help me and manage situations easier. Now I just feel betrayed. And I have no idea what I did wrong. My anxiety is skyrocketing. And I can't even function. I need some advice. too long didn't read boss is giving me silent treatment, which is not usual behavior and it's driving me crazy. First off, I'm really sorry to hear that that's happened to you country, PA, oh my gosh, these things happen. Silent treatments, not a great form of treatment from a leader. But I think we need to unpick this and there's a lot of elements and I'm going to try to address the individual elements instead of just coming to one big conclusion because there's some dynamics in here that I think might be misrepresenting what's going on or potentially are missed cues that Petri pie can pick up we'll just go and Petri that he could be picking up on and potentially leave ridging it's interesting that Jack has Little to no engagement with this person Petri. And Peter is instead giving direction and updates. Now we need to remember that Petri is a graduate engineer, and that it's self studying and picking up work from them to assist in the project. Now, in an office of three people, if that's the business and that sticking along with three people with international clients and contractors, a lot to be done, you got to remember a few things to start this whole thing out, Jack, the leaders probably incredibly busy, if you're managing contractors, you've got international clients, you've got people reporting underneath you, and you've got a graduate engineer in a workplace. That's a lot to carry. The first thing I'd be wondering is part of this neglect in there like five times what do you do annoy him into talking? Haha, and is the second part of is that rather than addressing the complication that this creates for Jack, he's instead just decided to ignore the problem. Now, if I was talking to Jack, I would say hey, if you're struggling to deal with Petri, and you feel like it's too much time burn, attach them to Peter, say, Hey, Peter, you're going to be managing Petri. I think it's important, take it on and you roll with it. Otherwise, you end up disappointing Peter, because Peter is like, Why the hell am I managing this person, but not managing this person, and you're just telling me the things you want them to do. And Patrese like, the boss never talks to me silent treatment. Second is why this person in particular is work from home, possibly, it's to reduce the risk associated with having three people in the office instead of two. But I would argue that one additional person isn't going to change the risk profile very much. So I go, I think that's nonsense. Get them back in the office, when you have a new starter or someone who is not used to working in an office, first time kind of corporate job to put them out on their own and not have an assigned mentor. And someone checking in with them regularly is potentially catastrophic, and will affect their sanity, mental health. It's your fault. Now, Jack is usually very talkative, and messaged me a lot. So those behaviors kind of weird, I think, Paul, that I've given you some additional considerations. And if I was working with Petrie and a coaching, we'd start putting little experiments together to test these and find out what the real problem is, regardless of what happens. Get a meeting with Jack, if it's affecting your mental health, you feeling out of control, you don't know what your work arrangement is, you don't know if they even like working with you. Get a meeting and get the hell out of your email box, stop sending messages, stop sending emails, pause all that. Go, you know, I'm going to pick up the phone and call Jack. Hey, Jack, I know you're super busy. I just need to meet with you. When can we have 1520 30 minutes, whatever I feel like I need and whatever he can spare to get together and just talk about the working arrangements here and how I can best support you and Peter and the team. And also how we can get a good rhythm to making sure we're catching up and that I'm being developed and I'm giving you what you need. That would be the most important thing you can do. So many people live in their inbox and they go they're ignoring my emails when emails are easy to ignore, right? They just come mumble mumble mumble mumble. If Jack is dealing with international clients. He's getting hammered all day with emails. We want to stop that I want to take myself out of his inbox. And we'll put myself right in front and center where he can see me. I want to grab his attention. If I'm not going to do that. I'm always going to battle for airtime. And yeah, probably he's read it. But he's like, Oh my god, like another message I don't I'm too busy right now, I should probably say something, but I'll do it later. And bang, he forgets. So I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt. But there's a lot going on here. So I think we need to break the silent treatment that we think is going on by going straight to Alright, I need a meeting with you. All right, now put on your phony smile because we're going into the belly of the beast. Phony phony here. Ah, there it is into the BS. Man. In that meeting, I would say hey, here's how I'm feeling somebody follow me. I'm distraught, measured. Don't just pour in all your concerns and mental anguishes. Here's where I'm at is I'm feeling what can we do? What can I do to support you? And also, can we get some regular meetings on the book with either yourself or if you want me to work directly with Peter with Peter. But if we're not going to do that, you're going to get caught in this loop. And eventually what will happen is you will check out I can't do this anymore. It's too much. I want out of this place. No one here likes me. I gotta go. We don't want that to happen. Now for Jack, this is a question I asked very often, even when we talk about accountability in the community or other things, who are you neglecting and not developing in your team? And what can you do to start developing those people? And maybe it isn't even you developing them? It's you handing them off to someone else and having a clear plan and line of communication on that. No, no show. Shut it. Oh God. But if you're not prepared to do that, this is going to continue to happen over and over and over again. So summarize. I feel bad for Petri. But Petri you got to take back control and get the hell out of the inbox because many awards and many of broken relationships could be avoided by staying out of people's inboxes and instead going straight to picking up the phone. For some reason. In the last five years, we've decided that phone calls are inappropriate if not They solve a lot of problems, get on the phone, get that sorted, get a meeting, have that conversation. And then from there look at what's the plan to keep the momentum up and to feel better about the place you work in. Because ultimately, we all spend so much time at work, why wouldn't we want to like the place to work? Cool. So those are our two for today. As I said earlier, if you haven't done so already, please click the subscribe button. It'll keep you notified and helps us with engagement. And I look forward to seeing you in the next CEO reviews Reddit workplace questions video, keeping awesome and kicking ass. I look forward to seeing you then.